ok so this week has been very emotional for me and confusing well first off me and ron have been done but im still in pain from it and then that thing josh comes over and he knows i dont want him there and he knows i dont like him but hes acting like he wants to be my friend and im like no bitch im not gonna be your friend you screwed me over im done with that asshole. so hes here and stuff and i get a message from someone that josh have something and i was so pissed cuz if he had something and gave it to ron and it came back to me i would be so fucking pissed and violent so. so ya then i went out and got trashed and had fun till i got home then more depression but then i was fine actually ive been fine most of this week the only time im not is when josh is here and thats why i dont want him here. and im glad he wont be back for a bit.i had a bad chat saturday and i dont remember much and the beginning of this week rich came over and me him and ron went out to gbar and we had fun and me and ron got to spend some time out of the house without anyone. ive decided when im upset about ron from now on that im not gonna drink anymore cuz this week it was bad. i did some stupid stuff. robbie me and mattie and justin smoked in this house and i told them not to but no one in this house listens to me so i just said fuck it cuz its not like there going to listen to me and i did it to and i wasnt feeling to good about it the next day i was really worried that i was ganna get kicked out and i dont wanna get kicked out so i decided never doing it again while im here or for a bit after im gone so i can get my life together like getting my GED and going back to school and getting money saved up so i can get my own place and a job so i can get more money but ya so i am gonna be trying a new thing starting soon and i think the rest of the boys will to if they want im gonna start taking out the camcorder and taping me going out to places and having fun outside the house it should be fun and i hope the members will like it. sunday we had a house meeting and me and the rest of the boys are going to volunteer at a place for what happened early this week it should be interesting but no one getting kicked this week. also